Opinions And Ramblings By Adam Kmiec On All Things

We Are At Peak Streaming Services

Source: https://www.indiewire.com/2019/06/too-many-streaming-services-television-decentralization-1202149596/

Go back 5 – 10 years ago, when “cord-cutting” first burst on to the scene and entered the zeitgeist. The promise to consumers was simple – more options, more screens, and only pay for what you want. Utopia if you will. Sounded awesome. At that point, we had, depending on your point of view, 3 major players:

  1. Netflix: The granddaddy of streaming services.
  2. Amazon Video: Ever growing, but only worthwhile if you’re an Amazon Prime member. It wasn’t until last year that Amazon Video was even available on AppleTV.
  3. HGO Go: The first big-time “traditional” player to enter the streaming wars.

Gosh, things were simpler back then. Certainly, the decision was simpler. You either paid $X to Comcast for local channels, basic cable, and premium channels…or you paid Comcast for local channels and basic cable, buy you chose Netflix or HBO Go as your streaming partner for premium content.

Over the last two years, the explosion of streaming service options are at a point where it’s impossible to understand the total cost and the decision to make. In the last 30-days alone, we’ve seen the launch or announcement of AppleTV+, Disney+, and Peacock. Additionally, in the last year or so, add in ESPN+ and Bleacher Report Live.

Here’s where we stand today:

Netflix$15.99
Amazon Video$8.99
AppleTV+$4.99
Disney+$6.99
Hulu$11.99
HBO Max$14.99
Showtime$10.99
Starz$8.99
Cinemax$9.99
YouTube Premium$11.99
CBS All Access$5.99
Monthly Total$111.89

That’s a lot of services, account setups, and monthly recurring bills.

So what about just local channels and basic cable? Monthly that’s $93.49 (normal price) at Comcast. If you elected to leverage the streaming services for premium content and Comcast for local and basic cable, your monthly combined total would be $275.37.

For comparison, going all-in with Comcast for local, basic, and premier channels would be $148.49. Regardless of how you slice and dice the list of streaming services, what is clear – the idea that cord-cutting was a significant cost saving, is simply not true anymore.

In 2004, Barry Schwartz authored, ‘The Pradox of Choice“. This is my favorite passage:

“Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard.”

Make no mistake – choice can be great. Choice can be helpful. Choice can be liberating. But, when we are at peak choice, it’s difficult, if not impossible to choose well.

My only question – when will we enter the phase of streaming services, where they give the TV away, in exchange for singning a contract of X years?

“You’re Benched” – Tough, But Fair Coaching

I played Little League Baseball up until college. I’d go so far as to say, without lacking hubris, I was really good. How good? Good enough to have multiple college scholarship offers. Good enough to play some independent minor league baseball post-high school.

The Summer between my Sophmore and Junior year, I was selected to our town’s all-star team. That team is selected by the coaches and is the team that theoretically would compete to represent the state in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Normally, the coach of the best team in the league becomes the head coach of the all-star team. That would have been my coach, Frank McNulty. He deferred due to conflicts and my dad decided to step up and coach the team.

Some background on my dad:

  • Never played baseball growing up…or any sport, in a non-recreational capacity
  • Diehard Red Sox fan
  • Lover of math and science
  • Always made time to practice with me and offer coaching feedback
  • Never coached a team

Despite never playing sports growing up, he was definitely a student of the game (s). I remember spending an entire summer reading books and looking at formulas to understand the physics of how to throw a curveball. My curveball was scientifically, very good. He was also a big believer that I would succeed or fail on my own merit, and it wouldn’t be because of equipment. Cleats, balls, bats, gloves – I had them all. And, they were all top-shelf.

So let’s get back to the all-star team. The first game was away at and against Hopatcong. I remember it vividly. I lead off the game with a single. In between the next 3 pitches, I was picked off of 1st base by a left-handed pitcher named Daly. In the 3rd inning with 1 out, I crushed a double. We had some momentum. I got picked off of second base by Daly, again. The next person at-bat hit a single. The next one struck out. I would have scored if I wasn’t picked off. In the 5th inning, I bunt singled and was subsequently thrown out trying to steal second to end the inning.

As I was walking off the field, my dad met me at the 1st base line. I was expecting an arm around the shoulder. Instead, calmly and cooly, he said, you’re head isn’t in the game, you’ve killed three scoring rallies – you’re benched.

We didn’t speak for a week. I was pissed. How do you bench your best player? Not an exaggeration. How does your dad treat you like a stranger? During the week, my uncle had a lengthy discussion with me and offered the following advice:

  1. You played like crap. You let the team down. You let your dad down.
  2. You shouldn’t be mad at him, you should be mad at yourself.
  3. You owe your dad an apology. He only wants the best for you. His job isn’t to treat you differently than everyone else. His job is to do what’s best for the team.

The next game I pitched a complete game shutout. We didn’t get much further in the tournament. After exiting the competition my dad made it clear he would never formally coach me again. It was simply too hard.

Years later, I apologized for being a jerk, a sulky player, and a son who didn’t realize the position he placed his father in. The story above eventually became a joke that would show up on occasion and we’d all laugh about it.

With kids of my own now, it really hits home how hard it must have been for my dad to be my dad, be my coach, and have me, in essence, flip him the bird across both.

The poet, Coolio, once wrote,

They say I gotta learn, but nobody’s here to teach me
If they can’t understand it, how can they reach me

I wonder if he had it 180 degrees wrong. What happens when you gotta learn, there is someone there to teach, they do understand it, but you refuse to listen and be coached? From player to parent/coach, covering the past 20+ years, I think that’s the biggest change I’ve observed with youth sports. When every kid has a phone and youTube to tell them what’s “right”, why should they listen to their parents and coaches?

That my dad didn’t ring me by the neck for being so dismissive and getting into a verbal confrontation before heading to the dugout, still astonishes me. With my own kids I’ve adopted much of his philosophy. John and Cora will never want for top-shelf equipment. I look to invest my time and money into coaching them to be better. But, when they don’t want to listen, much like my dad, I don’t get angry, I simply stop coaching and go back to being a parent. While I know, much like my dad, I would have the conviction to bench them, I know I don’t want to be in a position to do so.

An Inch, or a Mile

There are two styles of leadership. Ok – there are a nearly infinite number of styles, philosophies, models, and approaches. However, there’s one aspect that I’ve only seen leaders take one of two approaches – trust and management.

  1. An Inch: You will earn every single inch, starting from zero. At the beginning, there is no trust. Make a recommendation? Better come with data, endorsements, research, etc. You’ll spend 80% of the time justifying the recommendation and 20% of them time putting it together. You could call this group, micromanagers. They will feel overbearing and you’ll feel smothered. Why did they make you a leader, give you a team, set forth objectives, and offer a scope, if every thing you want to do, requires expressed written or verbal approval? When you earn an inch, instead of feeling exuberance at such an accomplishment, or even relief, you’ll instead feel empty. It’s a hollow accomplishment.
  2. A Mile: The opposite of leaders who manage by inches, are leaders who put their faith in you from the beginning. You’re given a mile of road on day 1. The saying, “hire smart people and then get out of their way” will ring true. When you make a mistake, and you will make them, instead of immediately losing an inch, you’ll partner to dissect what went wrong so that you don’t repeat the error.

I’ve worked for both types of leaders. I can tell you with 100% certainty, I would run through walls for the leaders who unconditionally gave me a mile. I can also tell you with 100% certainty, that while I will always try to bring my A-game, every day, the apathy created by those wanting you to earn every inch, made every day less than satisfying.

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with being asked to execute proper due diligence. In fact, it’s part of the trust. But, there’s a difference between trusting that you’ve done the hard work that few see and making you review that work line by line, including the footnotes.

Good leaders pick up traits from the good and adopt traits that address the experiences they’ve had with bad leaders. In that regard, I’m guilty. My leadership style is very shaped by the experiences I’ve had over the past 20+ years.

I’ve generally tried to identify large mountains to climb, but then defer to my team on how to get there. I trust them to offer me proper visibility when need, and to bypass me when appropriate. No, I don’t need to see and approve every job description. But, yeah, if we’re looking to exit someone from the organization, we should talk about it.

Want to spends $X within your budget to help us climb that mountain? Sure, after all, I assume you’ve crunched the numbers, done the math, and know we can afford to spend $X. However, if you want to go above budget, which happens on occasion, we should discuss why, how much, when, and to what end.

Ultimately, it’s about judgement. I trust my leaders will apply the right decision making skills, because I trust them. I trust them, because they know my four P’s: Priorities, Philosophy, Pace, and Pulse. I trust them to fail. I trust them to overcome obstacles. I trust them to lead and be leaders.

If you’ve found yourself unfairly having to earn every inch, every day – ask yourself, are you inspired and happy? If not, start looking for someone who will trust you with a mile.

So, You Got A New Manager

Office Space

In 20+ years, I’ve had well over 20 different managers. Some were for a few years. Some for a few days (seriously). I don’t remember when the “change” stopped impacting me. But, in the last 5 – 8 years I can’t recall ever being bothered by organizational change. I simply started to embrace and understand that the best organizations are always in a perpetual state of change.

While organization change has become as persistent as breathing air, how it manifests is quite different in every organization. Some organizations handle change with the same nonchalant behavior of shifting from heat to airconditioning based on the season. For other organizations, the change is as chaotic as recovering from your house being flooded.

Part of managing change is understanding what’s fixed, what’s variable, and what you can control. Over the years, I’ve found that my ability to recognize those classifications has helped me adapt to and navigate through change. The closest and most directly impactful element of change will be your new manager. I don’t have all the answers, but I have found that understanding the following, makes all the difference:

  • Priorities: Seems simple, but what are your manager’s priorities? What do they value? What “things”, projects, initiatives, etc. do they want to focus on? This is the starting point category for navigating the change. Why? Once you know the priorities, you can start to realign your work and your team’s work. You can start to think through your own organizational changes based on the priorities. It, all starts here.
  • Philosophy: I think when I usually hear the word, “philosophy” it comes across as nebulous, ambiguous, and simply not concrete. In this case, philosophy is very specific. What is your new manager’s philosophy? Do they value speed over quality? Do they believe in a centralization model or a hub and spoke model? How about insourcing or leveraging partners? What about multiple agencies or a single agency structure? Understanding the philosophy will help you understand why your new manager is making certain decisions, pushing hard on certain areas and punting on others.
  • Pace: How fast does your manager want to move? Are they of the “move fast and break things” mindset? Or are they of the “measure twice and cut once” mindset? Do they want you to take a hill and fill them in after the fact or do they want a detailed plan of how you’ll take the hill…and updates at each milestone? How much change do they want to take on today, tomorrow, in year 1, etc.? If you aren’t wired to understand the pace their setting, you can find yourself behind and underdelivering or ahead and creating alignment challenges.
  • Pulse: I intentionally listed this one last. Not because it lacks importance, but because if you don’t nail the other 3, this becomes semi-irrelevant. Simply put, how often should check-ins, 1:1s, and meetings take place…and…how will you know you’re on track, exceeding expectations or leaving a lot to be desired? One of the best managers and leaders I’ve ever worked for said, “the more senior you are in an organization, the less time you get with your manager”; she was spot on. It’s also why ensuring you have a clear understanding of the “pulse” is so critical. If you don’t understand how you’re performing and you aren’t interacting with the right cadence, it becomes nearly impossible to have a productive relationship.

I’m not saying or suggesting that the 4 P’s above are perfect or representative of everything you need to know and do when you have a new manager. However, I do believe that if you can have conversations that help you better understand your manager’s priorities, philosophy, pace and pule you’ll be far better positioned to be successful.

So Maybe I’ll Climb Everest

Young Adam

“First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.” Two, you always call the shots. “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.” Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. “Isn’t this great?” Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.” And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

I remember when my dad turned 40. I thought he was so old. The grey started to appear. It was barely noticeable but noticeable enough to know things were changing. He carried a few more pounds. But, when I think about it, what really made him seem old was the fact he talked more about my future than his own.

40 seemed like a lifetime away. As I celebrate 40 trips around the sun, my first thought is, wow, that went by fast. Too fast, to be honest. Is half my life actually over? Wow, but there’s still so much more to do and so much I haven’t even started to explore.

I’m not sure I have it all figured out and I’m definitely not sure what the right thing is to say. But, I get the feeling that when you turn 40, you’re supposed to say something of meaning.

Kids can be cruel. As a kid, I was called camel jockey, sand nigger, spic, and yes, much worse. I don’t believe children are born mean. I really do believe that they become what we teach them and show them. At 40, I don’t look back and think negatively about those kids who bullied me. I instead think this is what happens when our children don’t have positive role models to look up to. Our responsibility as parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends should be to set a positive example for the children in our lives.

If you can count your great friends, on one hand, you’re fortunate. My mom would drill this message into my head repeatedly. Earlier this year when I created my last will and testament, I felt fortunate to have 5 great friends who resemble family and whom I’d trust to take care of Cora and John, should something unfortunate happen.

Show the world your character and you will have no regrets. Show up early. Do what you say. Open the door for others. Ask, “how can I help?” Share your talents with others. Have principles and don’t compromise on them. I’ve known Karen and MJ for nearly 18 years. I’ve always marveled at their warmth, honesty, and compassion. I think of them as family. For 18 years, they’ve shown me that if you show the world who you really are, some may shun you, some may be bothered by the real you, but some will embrace you. Treasure those people.

When in doubt, always buy the shoes, take the trip, drink the top-shelf liquor, and say “yes” to that which gives you the butterflies. The best stories and most vibrant memories come from when we stop thinking about life and simply start living it. “You’ll never believe what happened, right after you left” is a sentence to avoid. Your life will be more fulfilled if you’re the one stating it, instead of being on the receiving end.

Life isn’t short, it’s long. People will tell you differently I disagree. There’s time. It’s never too late to make amends, forgive, admit you were wrong, ask for forgiveness, love, start over, or change who you are. As more and more time lapses it gets harder to right wrongs or summon the courage needed, but there’s time.

At 40, I’m satisfied, I’m happy, I’m fulfilled. I’m all of those things at 40 more than I was at 30, 21, 18, 13, and any age in between. I have 2 kids that I love beyond words and who offer me joy that hearts weren’t built to accept. I have friends who bring me smiles as I watch them navigate life. I have family that frustrates me, inspires me, and reminds me that we are all connected to something bigger.

To quote Anthony Hopkins in “Meet Joe Black”, “…I’m going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, “I don’t want anything more.”

Podcasts, Talk Radio For The 2000s

From Wired. https://www.wired.com/2016/06/this-week-in-podcasts-june-8-2/

I hated talk radio growing up. Driving in the car with my dad meant listening to WFAN 660 or Suzyn Waldman on WCBS 880. This, I did not like. Of course, growing up in the 80s meant there wasn’t an alternative for long car rides. I couldn’t simply put on my earbuds and stream Spotify. The idea of a Gameboy while a visual alternative would not fix the noise going into my ears.

As I’m sure all kids are wanton to do, when I finally had my own car, a transition took place. I found myself listening to WFAN and enjoying the sports talk radio. Parents, there always right…eventually.

Fast-forward years ahead and what I would say is that living in a city, be it Chicago, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis or Philadelphia – greatly reduced my talk radio consumption. I’ve never been an earbud wearing person and when you travel by train or bus, signal reception was challenging. Right at this time, podcasts started to have a moment, if you will. It just never caught on for me.

After moving to Minneapolis in 2017 and purchasing a Tesla I’ve become a total podcast junky. The key inflection point was the Tesla Model 3. While my Tesla can play music from an iPhone, it’s not elegant. It also doesn’t have an FM/AM tuner or XM Radio. That means – if what you’re listening to can’t be streamed, you aren’t going to be listening to it.

Tesla uses TuneIn and Slacker Radio as the foundation for their audio/music capabilities. Podcasts are elegantly integrated into the user experience. And with a 35-minute commute to and from work, every day, podcasts have become my go-to listening experience.

I know I’m late to the party. It’s like 1997 all again and my dad (all of you) was right…again. To be fair, there’s a lot of garbage out there in podcast-land, but there’s also an incredible amount of great content. A few of my personal favorites would be:

  • The Rewatchables: A movie podcast from Bill Simmons and his team at the Ringer. They take rewatchable movies (doesn’t mean it’s a great movie), rewatch the movie and then break it down. You get some history, some pop culture and interesting trivia. Plus, you get to relive a movie that you’ve seen before.
  • Stuff You Should Know: The hosts Josh and Chuck take on fascinating topics that cover history (Cleopatra) to topics of the day (Gig Economy) and so much in between. I laugh a bit and feel smarter after listening.
  • Total Soccer Show: As a soccer nut, this podcast speaks to my brain and my soul. Tactics, game breakdowns, transfer talk and pre-match analysis are part of this pod.

So yeah , I should have embraced podcasts way earlier than 2019. Thankfully, with the internet, you can always catchup…quickly.

Throw In The Floor Mats

Image Credit: elektrek

Over the years my dad imparted an incredible amount of wisdom on me. But, none was more sticky than “throw in the floor mats”.

He found a tremendous amount of pride in always negotiating a “free” set of winter/rubber mats…in addition to the fabric mats they give you with a new car. The cost of the mats are cheap. I think on average they’re about $95. But, my dad took such pride in spending $35K on a new car and somehow saving $95 on a second set of mats.

For years, I thought he was crazy. Every car I ever purchased, there he was reminding me in reality and in spirit, “make sure you ask them to throw in the floor mats!”

Well – crazy, until at the end of 2018 when purchased my Tesla Model 3. Try as I might, I could not inspire Tesla to throw in the floor mats. I tried every which way I could, but no dice.

I think the point of what my dad was trying to teach me, was that no one would ever want to lose a sizable sale over $95. For years I always believed it only applied to the seller. But, after my Tesla experience, it’s clear that his advice was for both parties.

In truth, I actually don’t know if that was point. I really wish he were still on this Earth, so I could ask him. But, I’d like to believe it was his aim.

It’s a valuable lesson in life and business. Don’t let the small things stand in front of the big things.

Also…if you don’t ask, you don’t get…but just because you ask, doesn’t mean you get.


Building My Vinyl Collection – 1 Amazing Album At A Time

High Fidelity

I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films — these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the fuckin’ truth…

Rob Gordon, as played by John Cusack in, “High Fidelity”.

Rob Gordon was a genius. I don’t think he was being shallow. I once dated a woman who remarked that Justin Bieber was the greatest musician of “ALL TIME” and when pressed as to if he were more talented than Michael Jackson, Prince and Paul McCartney…she doubled down. That was the last date.

I’ve always been an audiophile and I’ve always been fascinated with vinyl. I blame my dad for having a killer vinyl collection that he refused to let me touch as a major reason for my interest. If you can’t have it. If you can’t touch it. But, it’s universally believed to be desirable. Well, you kinda get attached.

What I never had any interest in doing though, was to collect to just collect. I have friends with stacks and stacks of wax in milk crates. I think I’ve evolved beyond the milk crate. Also – across all walks of life, I’ve always been about quality and not quantity. To that end, I never purchased a record player because I wasn’t sure about the type of vinyl collection I wanted to have.

A few years ago I decided that my vinyl collection would be limited to 100 albums. I’d get to pick 50. Nichole could pick 50. And then…that was it. As stated in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, “choose wisely”. The beauty of vinyl was that you couldn’t really skip around like you could on a CD or just create your own playlist from the best songs on an album. For all intents and purposes, you have to listed straight through from the first song to the last. Because of that, there was only one rule – no greatest hits albums. And that’s what makes choosing my 50 so dang tough.

I can finally say that this project is complete. Well, to be fair, my portion of the project is complete. I have a list of 50 and have them in-hand or on-order. Choosing the albums was an incredibly fun adventure. I started with albums that were no-brainers that I’d been listening to for years. For example Abbey Road by The Beatles and The Notorious BIG’s debut album, Ready to Die. Then I thought about songs that I had on repeat and explored the album that they came from. Where it got tricky were albums that only had 1 or 2 songs I really loved, but the rest of the album was meh. For example Dr. Dre’s 2001 or any Johnny Cash album (sorry Cash fans). That’s when I started investigating live albums. Any wow…there are so many amazing live albums. A few I already had on my list, like, Peter Frampton’s Frampton Comes Alive album. But, others I had never heard before and it was a joy discovering them.

Here’s where I landed:

  1. AC/DC – Back in Black
  2. Adele – 21
  3. The Allman Brothers Band – At Fillmore East
  4. The Band – Music From Big Pink
  5. B.B. King – Live at Cook County Jail
  6. Beach Boys – Pet Sounds
  7. Beastie Boys – License to Ill
  8. The Beatles – Abbey Road
  9. The Beatles – White Album (From my Dad’s collection)
  10. Billy Joel – The Stranger
  11. The Black Keys – Rubber Factory
  12. Bob Dylan – Nashville Skyline
  13. Bob Dylan – Time Out Of Mind
  14. Bob Marley and the Wailers – Live (From my Dad’s collection)
  15. Bruce Springsteen – Born in the U.S.A. (From my Dad’s collection)
  16. Cat Stevens – Tea for the Tillerman
  17. Cheap Trick – Live at Budokan
  18. Chris Stapleton – Traveler
  19. Coldplay – A Rush of Blood to the Head
  20. Dave Matthews Band – Crash
  21. Elton John – Honky Chateau
  22. EPMD – Strictly Business
  23. Frank Sinatra – The Main Event Live
  24. George Michael – Faith
  25. Guns N Roses – Appetite For Destruction
  26. James Brown – Live at the Apollo II
  27. Jimi Hendrix – Are You Experienced
  28. John Mayer – Room For Squares
  29. Johnny Cash – Folsom Prison
  30. Kanye and Jay Z – Watch The Throne
  31. The Killers – Sams Town
  32. Led Zeppelin – IV (From my Dad’s collection)
  33. Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On (From my Dad’s collection)
  34. Michael Jackson – Thriller
  35. Norah Jones – Come Away With Me
  36. The Notorious BIG – Life After Death
  37. The Notorious BIG – Ready To Die
  38. Paul McCartney and Wings – Band on the Run
  39. Peter Frampton – Frampton Comes Alive
  40. Pink Floyd – Dark Side of The Moon (From my Dad’s collection)
  41. Pink Floyd – The Wall (From my Dad’s collection)
  42. Prince and the Revolution – Purple Rain
  43. The Rolling Stone – Let It Bleed
  44. Sam Cooke – Ain’t That Good News
  45. Santana – Abraxas
  46. Simon and Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water
  47. The Weeknd – Beauty Behind the Madness
  48. The Who – Tommy
  49. U2 – Joshua Tree
  50. Wutang Clan – 36 Chambers

Beyond the list – the hunt for which version of an album was truly fun. The albums from my dad’s collection are all original first pressings and that makes things damn cool. Not only was it an original and not a re-pressing, it was the same wax he spun in the 60s, 70s and 80s.

I can’t say this approach is for everyone, but it was definitely right up my alley. It was the perfect mix of left brain and right brain thinking. Now – to listen and enjoy.

Escalate or Defuse – Don’t Be A Skutch

Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon

Generally, when we think about the idea of a defusing a situation there’s a picture of two sets of people engaged in a conflict that needs a resolution or something catastrophic could happen. We’ve seen this play out time and again on the big screen – someone robs the bank, takes some hostages and subsequently triggers a series of events where a hostage negotiator is brought in to defuse the situation. But of course, in parallel, there’s a hard charging law enforcement leader that simply wants to stop negotiating and start taking action. If only it were so black and white.

There’s a fine line between being clear, specific, declarative, honest and being inflammatory or intentionally abrasive. What we often mistake for a certain nastyness, is in fact simply being direct and objective. Let’s not mix these two concepts up. Being direct, consise and clear are hallmarks of succesful communication techniques. But, choosing to be “skutch”, as my aunt would say, is bad form. For those not 100% up to date with East Coast / Long Island slang, a “skutch” is defined as “someone who intentionally behaves in an irritating or annoying manner.” Yeah, I was a skutch on occasion…when I was 11.

What I’ve come to appreciate are leaders, friends and team-members who actively look to be direct and honest, even when it’s about critical feedback, but avoid seeking to escalate situations. Doing this well requires a strong level of emotional intelligence. You have to be capable of understanding what might exacerbate a situation unnecessarily. It requires reading people and the situation. It’s a soft skill, that when not executed well, cuts like a sharp knife.

Netflix CEO Reed Hastings has been very clear about what his organization does with its brilliant jerks: It gets rid of them. As he has said in the past about them: “Some companies tolerate them. For us, the cost to effective teamwork is too high.”

I love that passage from an Inc. story about the famed Netflix culture that refuses to accept jerks, regardless of how brilliant they are. While this language isn’t in the Netflix culture manifesto, I think it’s safe to say, Hastings would accept the idea that those who seek to instigate and escalate, instead of defuse are not welcome.

I’d encourage your to think about that line between defuse and escalate – look at your team-members, look at your leaders, look at your friends. Who’s escalating? Who’s defusing? If you can defuse, but still be clear and direct, you’ll almost always be more effective than using language, that while clear – simply seeks escalate the situation.

A Year Away From Social Media

Image Source: https://futurism.media/forget-hal-9000-theory-says-wall-e-is-the-most-evil-robot-on-earth

Every year I try to do three new things. I find the personal challenge combined with the knowledge gained to be incredibly satisfying. In 2018, I tackled the elimination of social media from my everyday diet. During the middle of the year, I checked in for a week to see what, if anything, I was missing. Now with 2018 firmly in the rearview mirror, here’s what I can say about taking a year off of social media.

It’s impossible to completely escape social media. So much of how the web works today is reliant on the idea of leveraging social media for the purposes of access, consumption or communication.

  • Access: How many platforms, sites, apps, etc. do you belong to that require some type of social connection to log in? Every time you use Facebook Connect to create an account or access a digital property, you’re using social media.
  • Consumption: Much of the news and information we consume is on social media. In the last 20 years, we’ve seen a clear shift from consumption on site (e.g. ESPN.com) to consumption via the inbox (e.g. remember Daily Candy?) to consumption via the “feed”. If you want news, in all its forms and you want to know what’s going in with friends, co-workers and family, social media is the fastest and often easiest way to catch up.
  • Communication: Yes, it’s been said before, social media is the modern day water cooler. It’s full of gossip, casual pleasantries and respite from our jobs and life. However, even traditional communication methods like texting are becoming more social. And, when done right, the conversations that take place on social media are interesting, thought-provoking and memorable. It’s also fascinating and often times, helpful how quickly you can share something and have it reach so many. I was reminded of how wonderful social media can be for that purpose when my father unexpectedel passed away.

So, if we can’t escape it completely, the real question for me after a year away is, how do I make social media work better for me? If you will, how do you make it an enriching experience?

I still believe what I wrote in July when I checked back into social media:

  • We see the very best in humanity, but also the very worst.
  • Garbage in, Garbage Out: What you see in your social media feed is directly tied to what and who you follow.
  • As Gregory House once said, “People don’t change. They just become more of who they really are.” Social media is a mirror, megaphone and magnifying glass.

With that in mind, what I’ve decided is Lincoln was right, “If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.” In this instance, if you want social media to be a cesspool of stupidity, arguments over politics and incessant updates about Peloton/Soul Cycle rides, well, you will find it. If however, you aspire to see all the good out there, well, you will find it. To that end, in 2019, I’ll be doing 3 things with my social media habits:

  1. Clean the Feed: Follow what’s interesting and enjoyable to me. Remove the accounts, people and content that takes away from my enjoyment.
  2. Restrained Sharing: If there’s one thing I really enjoyed about being off of social media, it was not having to broadcast and share everything. I could just watch John’s basketball game or Cora dance during New Year’s Eve at a bowling alley, in a sparkly dress. Yes, that happened. In fact, you can have brunch without telling everyone about it on Instagram.

That’s it. Just those two things. I’m convinced if I do both, I’ll find social media to be the wonderful connected and inspiring forum it once was to me.